Setting SelectedItem before ItemsSource is not working properly for SelectingItemsControls

[tvass83]

Describe the bug

In Avalonia 11.2.3, the following sequence of operations does not work as opposed to using v0.10.22:

1. Bind your SelectedItem & ItemsSource to viewmodel (VM) properties
2. set the SelectedItem via the VM
3. populate ItemsSource via the VM
4. raise a propertychanged for the selected item VM property

There are two ways to approach this:

1. In WPF, as soon as you populate the ItemsSource, it automatically respects the previously set SelectedItem
2. This is a regression introduced by Binding System refactor #13970, where a forced raisepropertychanged is being short-circuit due to a check if the value changed at all, here:
   

   Avalonia/src/Avalonia.Base/PropertyStore/ValueStore.cs

   Lines 803 to 806 in aa07882

   	if (property.IsDirect)
   	{
   	if (hasValueChanged)
   	property.RouteSetDirectValueUnchecked(Owner, value);

In my opinion, the WPF behavior would be the preferred one here, what do you guys think?

To Reproduce

Please check the following simple repro apps:
https://github.com/tvass83/AvaloniaIssues/tree/main/SelectedItemOrder

Expected behavior

No response

Avalonia version

11.2.3

OS

Windows

Additional context

No response