Fix classified inbox wake and peer delivery lifecycle

[lukacf]

Summary

• fix classified inbox capacity waiting so send_classified_wait registers its wake before checking capacity and wakes senders on close
• move Mob peer-message delivery out of the actor command loop so backpressured recipients do not wedge unrelated mob.handle.* calls
• keep offloaded peer deliveries actor-owned with a bounded delivery lane, per-delivery cancellation, member/edge topology fences, and lifecycle cancellation on stop, complete, reset, destroy, and shutdown

Validation

• ./scripts/repo-cargo test -p meerkat-comms classified_send_wait -- --nocapture
• ./scripts/repo-cargo test -p meerkat-mob peer_message_delivery -- --nocapture
• ./scripts/repo-cargo test -p meerkat-mob peer_message -- --nocapture
• ./scripts/repo-cargo fmt --check
• git diff --check
• ./scripts/repo-cargo clippy -p meerkat-mob -p meerkat-comms --all-targets -- -D warnings
• pre-push hook: changed-crates clippy, machine codegen verify, generated header audit, bridge ResponseStatus audit, Bazel freshness, workspace deterministic gate

[chatgpt-codex-connector]

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[chatgpt-codex-connector]

Preserve command order for peer send versus topology changes

Offloading SendPeerMessage to a background task here breaks actor-mailbox ordering guarantees: the actor can now process later commands (for example Unwire/Retire, which remove trusted peers) before the previously accepted send actually executes. That makes a send issued while members are still wired fail nondeterministically with trust/peer-not-found errors depending on timing, whereas the previous in-loop await serialized these operations. This is a behavioral regression for callers that rely on command order in a single mob handle.

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